5 questions to ask yourself about that bad habit you have

Morning, friends!
I'm getting a late start on writing this newsletter today because for the first time in quite a long time, I woke up groggy from a hangover.
😱
The evening began innocently enough, with tacos and a margarita and great conversation—and ended with me mustering the gall to sing "Rhiannon" to a crowd of Tucsonans down at the Cowpony. And you guys, I did NOT hit those notes, but I SURE had fun trying.

While it may be more entertaining to conjure an image of tipsy me climbing onto the bar, taking...I don't know...tequila shots off a burly, tattooed man while passionately singing into a microphone...the reality was a bit tamer. Basically, this lightweight sipped on two beers, and was asleep by midnight. Still, it was enough to derail the next morning.
Perhaps sharing this story mars my street cred in the yoga scene. Perhaps it undercuts my image—performance?—as a yoga teacher.
But as I often point out in this newsletter, we're all prone to developing attachments. It would be disingenuous to pretend otherwise. And mine is that I can seldom manage to sing or dance in public without some liquid courage.
The topic of drinking is a sticky, complicated one. I'm in a yoga teacher group online that was on fire over this discussion the other day ("Should yoga teachers party? Should they post pictures like that online?" etc.), proving that there are as many perspectives as there are people. I have avoided talking about it, because I think there's a lot to unpack and I wonder if I am going to think differently about it in five, or ten years? I mean, probably.
But at this point I will say this: I don't find it helpful to assign absolute value toward any substance as it comes to following in a yogic path for every person.
Or, in the immortal words of Fleetwood Mac, when it comes to indulging, 🎵 You can go your own wayyyyy. 🎶
....Sorry....
What I think is more interesting is how we can use yoga, in particular the concept of Brahmacharya, to explore our attachments. Brahmacharya is about finding moderation, so that you are able to hold your senses throughout life, from moment to moment, without clinging to various sense objects.
Those sense objects might be a substance, like alcohol, or a drug, or sugar—they could also be something like an app on your phone. It could be anything that you crave.
Brahmacharya helps to explain why I recently deleted the Instagram app off my phone. I have no intention of staying off of it forever (again, making no absolute value statements), but it had become an inescapable sense object. When I wanted to feel validated, I used it. When I wanted to distract myself from a boring moment, I used it. It numbed me from my available senses in a way that felt like a form of internal violence. No other app had the same effect. I tried to limit my time on it, and wasn't successful. So I deleted it, for the time being. I'll occasionally open it on my desktop, and I find I do so with balanced restraint. It's less of a sense object, and more of means to connect and see what's happening with friends and family. (Isn't that what the app is designed for after all??) I don't endlessly scroll in this way. This feels like moderation for right now.
Does any of this resonate? Is there anything in your life that you feel is zapping your sensory focus—perhaps an overboard caffeine habit, or an app on your phone? Check out the exercise below. It may help you to navigate.
As the years pass, I have found alcohol less and less appealing. (My hangover this morning was just confirmation of that!) And I'm grateful for these little messages, and the framework yoga provides, that remind me I can always adjust.
Plus, a sober Cowpony karaoke experience sounds like it could be character-building, if nothing else. I'll go ahead and add it to the to-do list.
💖
Kelly
Try this at home ✍
Today's exercise is a journaling one, but I suppose you could also just meditate on it, or let it soak in and come back to the questions later.
First, consider the "sense object" in question. This should be something that if it was threatened to be taken from your life, you might have a somewhat intense reaction (definitely not "meh, take it or leave it.")
What kinds of joy does doing/using this thing bring to you?
What kind of challenges does doing this thing bring to you?
How frequently is this thing stealing your time, energy or joy?
What's one way your mornings would feel better without this thing? What about your evenings?
Would anyone who you care about stand to benefit if you could moderate your attachment to this thing? Who and how?
PS, this isn't intended to be used around substance addiction, but rather those pesky habits that just don't serve us.
Worth a read 📚
I liked on drinking that Gracy shared in her self-care newsletter a while back. Particularly this line: "I think the thing I crave is just a switch in the energy of the day." Very relatable. Her newsletter was inspired by this article about being "sober-curious," which is also worth reading. // This is a great deep-dive on Brahmacharya. I am very much digging this list of 20 yoga teachers of color to keep your eye on in 2020. Need sources for a story? Need inspiration? Wisdom? Follow them! // This was a great read: "Engage with this crisis instead of trying to cut it off. Let these feelings in instead of blaming yourself for them. Be more patient with your own sadness. And look for joy everywhere you can, every day, from the first hour you’re awake until the moment you fall asleep." // And this is a heartbreaking one.
Tunes 🎶
New additions from Dijon and Beautiful Chorus, which has an album featuring meditation music for each of the chakras and it's gorgeous.
Upcoming topics!
I'm building out my future editorial offerings in this here newsletter, so hit me up if any of these strike your fancy so I can figure out which to write on first based on interest? Democratic, build-your-own newsletter or something? Reply on back.
The use of touch in a yoga setting. Lots to chat here.
Pranayama! Breath work. What types to use when.
I recently realized I'm definitely a highly-sensitive person and it blew my mind and I would like to say more.
Chronic pain
What I've learned after 3+ months moving from a city in which I'd lived for 13+ years (I dunno, I feel like this may help anyone considering an upcoming life transition)
What to do when you have an injury that limits your yoga practice
Providing feedback kindly
How do you decide if you should take a yoga teacher training?
Transforming jealousy into something productive
Also: more interviews!! I'm working on compiling one next up from a Nat Geo explorer that I think you'll enjoy.