My "7-year leap" story
Remember the early days of IG and this filter? <3 <3
“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.”
- Muriel Rukeyser
Good morning, friends!
I'm writing this email from a very monsoon season Tucson, the greenest I've ever seen it. Someone posted a photo the other day of the mountains and wrote, "Nope, not Costa Rica!" But seriously, that green!
The picture of me at the top of this email is from Costa Rica, though. It's from one of my first solo travels when I was 25, which was to a town called Montezuma, just after I'd quit my first "adult" job. I had recently started teaching yoga, and as I wrote in this essay at the time, the trip was somewhat of a reflex — I called it "the counter-pose" to my decision to take another similar job. It was a decision I was nervous about in the way you get butterflies before hopping in the backseat for a cross-country car ride with strangers, rather than the jumping-out-of-a-plane nerves.
I told myself, I'm sewing the parachute. As I look back, I see it as the start of my 7-year leap.
Fast-forward to October of 2019, when I quit yet another job, except this job I actually loved. It felt much more aligned with my path, but I also knew at a certain stage that it was holding me back. It was too comfortable, and I wanted to explore, have freedom to try new things and new places. So, I quit and moved west to the desert.
What followed was a period of several months I spent in a haze, having constant dreams that I was untethered, developing feelings of self-doubt, resentment and regret mixed up with financial anxiety that prompted me to take a full-time job I wasn't crazy about. Then, the pandemic started. In the course of a few months, my relationship at the time ended, I got laid off, and the world was seemingly on fire in every direction.
I spent the later part of that summer and into the fall doing some focused work to heal from the nagging feelings of regret and resentment that were following me around and making their way into my relationships. I also followed a dream of taking a long solo road trip around the western United States.
Over the fall, as I set up to lead a vinyasa practice for students virtually from the Teton Valley of Idaho, I heard those words back in my head: I wanted to travel the world and teach yoga. It hadn't occurred to me until that moment that I'd actually brought my vision to reality.
In the spring, I co-hosted a yoga retreat that felt nourishing and connective and full of love. And ever since, I've been leading yoga practices and series online. Based upon the feedback I have gotten, these practices are helping people to feel supported, find balance and get clarity at a time when that's understandably difficult to find.
As I consider my story up to now, I still feel very much in the thick of it, but I also have a deeper perspective on the road blocks I encountered along the way. This is not to say that road blocks won't happen, in fact, I think hitting them is a necessary step of any brave journey. But I think I let myself suffer through them to a greater extent, and it feels right to me now to help others not feel as alone as they pursue their own path.
The crux of my next movement and journaling series, Look Before You Leap, is on developing self-compassion and self-trust. These are qualities that I guess we are supposed to just naturally pick up from life experience, even though life doesn't make that easy at all. And they also happen to be the two core elements that have formed the foundation of where I am now. There will be exercises around jealousy, regret, shame and other feelings that I have found commonly spring up during certain life transitions. And, of course there will be yoga-inspired movement (beginner-friendly), journaling and yoga nidra.
Whether you are in the thick of a transition now, or you are looking at going for one, or you're like me and your life leaps take 7+ years to manifest — I hope you know you're not going through it alone.
And if you're seeking some structure, some weekly practices to guide you, and some inspiration, consider signing up for my next series, Look Before You Leap.
Either way, I'll see you again soon!
Love,
Kelly
If you're just here for the links, they'll be back soon. Thank you for being here and giving me the space to share this work!
Tunes 🎶
Dreamy music, like the kind that will accompany our weekly yoga practices!